I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize