I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just want to make out with him forever
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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