so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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