I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
