and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sorry my hands just texted you
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
