i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
