butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
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