I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
