It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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