I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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