I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize