I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
