good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
