she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
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Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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