physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
