Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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