she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
