He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
nutella sex= disaster
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
How's work?
Spinning.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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