Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
