I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
