guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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