I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
