I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
