She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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