That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
