Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My dick has a subreddit
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
