I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
