ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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