what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
