would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
