i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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