College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
