Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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