My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize