throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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