Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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