come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
