Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think my vagina is haunted
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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