and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
