I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
