What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
