My underwear smells like fireworks.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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