I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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