Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
