this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize