Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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