I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside