Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
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almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.