Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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