She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
