You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
