Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you didnt know i had herpes?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
