sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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