K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
