He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
