bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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