Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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