You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
