you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
