This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
