i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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