she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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