I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
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Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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