when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
