So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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