just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
