I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When did angry sex become our thing?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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