So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
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Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
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Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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